Social Icons

True Love Can Change Our Hearts

By Evan Sanders


My mind is dripping with paint. Colors casted all over the unending canvas of my mind. Mixing. Swirling. Blasted with colour. How rare for a mind that was stripped of colour not so long ago...one that was weighed down by the darkest shades of of blacks and the space between those dark shades and white. There was only that. Nothing but that. There are beautiful and complicated portraits of memories that unfold like streamers in my mind. I used to curse these unending reels of tape falling from the ceilings. They would always play again and again in my mind again. Moments. Memories. Feelings. Laughter. My mind felt weighed under by their presence. I tried to manipulate the uncontrollable, to only understand that once a flutter of wind came by they would unravel time upon time.

This was the tale about a man great suffering. Regret. Pain. Fear.

A deleterious force deep inside himself controlled by the bitter composition of life's greatest challenges and tests. A person who feared the genuine, the true, and to stand up for what really spoke inside his heart and drove his ambitions. A type of man demolished by a force burning him to death from a wild cold that froze even glimmers of warmth inside his heart. I was the kind of man who gripped on too tight to what existed, strangling whatever was to the point of breathlessness. My grip was severe, turning things to dust, letting them sift through my fingers. My hands callused from building walls and thwarting off trespassers of love.

I was the type of man whose heavy hands were beaten to a pulp by his efforts to grasp onto things that really needed to change, only to unfortunately find that there is an inability to manipulate what must shift. The agony that was made from watching the inescapable changing of things only brought more fear, more darkness, more agony.

I was that sort of man, once...upon a time.

One day I decided to let go. Of everything. All that I feared, all that I liked. Everything in that moment, became much lighter. I made an effort to believe that all would arrive in time, that love would find its way, lessons would show up at my doorstep and I could truly begin to live.

I let the streamers, oh those pretty tapestries of my mind unfold as they wished, bobbing around the expansive room of my thoughts with freedom and grace. I began to walk with their wonderful colours appreciating their intricacies and depth. In turn, I granted myself the chance for using what was divine deep within my soul. I commenced to speak to the heavens and rather than living in constant agony, I just lived, giving up existing for something far grander.

But through it all, I became the kind of man that may be dripping with color and could watch everything go. I could hold people with open palms so they were free to fly. I could grin at things that once caused me pain. My hands, in spite of their strength, became light. I became softer. My words became deeper. My feelings became stronger. And with that, the strength of the looks I gave others became engulfed with zeal. I stopped looking at others and looked deeply into them.

I once was the type of man who suffered continually.

Now, I am the type of man who suffers, and with that, loves compassionately.

I am moving on with a full heart.




About the Author:



Articles with the same meaning

Articles with the same meaning