In a moment of inspiration, have you thought of a great idea for getting back together with your ex? You have thought long and hard and you know exactly what you need to do to win your ex back. It all makes sense to you. You have the perfect plan and you can see it all unfolding before you. Before you follow through with this plan, understand that most of us come to the same conclusion and think of the same solutions for how to get back together with our ex after a breakup. Chances are that you're not as clever and unique as you might think.
Once you're done reading over these common solutions to the problem of how to get back together with your ex, understand that your thoughts are very typical. Coming to the same conclusion as the rest of us is completely normal. In spite of this, also understand that rebuilding your relationship with the one you love isn't out of the question. This emotionally charged state that you are in is very normal and it is something that you must go through in order to heal and become whole again. It is one step in the pathway to rebuilding your life and getting to the place where you need to be when that chance to rekindle the love in your relationship comes to you. You will get that chance but first you must go through this emotional hell.
Now, logic might tell you that the best way to convince someone that your point of view is correct would be to discuss the topic. This might lead you to believe that talking with your ex would be the perfect way to win them back. Simply give them a convincing argument for why you should get back together and they will surely see your sincerity and that life would be better if the two of you reunited. This is also what couples therapy is all about. If it's good enough for other couples then why wouldn't it work for you? Conflict resolution is the topic and you are prepared to resolve the problems in your relationship. This should help you to get back together for sure.
The only problem with this plan is that your ex has no desire to talk things through. The problems in the relationship were solved when your ex left you. As far as your ex is concerned there is nothing to discuss or talk about anymore. This might make you a little sad but it points out one very important point. Your ex needs to want to be in the relationship again before anything is going to happen. Making your ex fall in love with you and desire you needs to be your first step in getting back together with your ex.
Promising to change is often the next plan that many of us come up with when hoping to get our ex back. We feel that if we either promise to change or begin to make changes in our life that our ex will have no reason to end the relationship. You might think that if you write down a list of all the reasons why your ex said that they were leaving and then make all the necessary changes that everything will be good again.
The real reason why your ex left probably has nothing to do with the reasons that they gave you. Your bad habits or areas in your life where you may be found lacking are simply an excuse. Their complaints about you are simply a smoke screen that hides the true reason which is probably a lack of respect or a shift in the power dynamic in your relationship. Offering to change only further shifts the power and makes you appear weak and needy. Any changes that you make or offer to make will also be tainted with what your ex perceives as a desire to do anything to get them back. This will boost your ex's ego and lower your value as a romantic partner and you will be rejected again.
Next, you might be thinking that if you were just good enough and kind enough to your ex that they will fall in love with you again. Maybe you have thought of courting your ex again. You would buy them gifts, write your ex poetry and do crazy romantic things to win your ex's heart. After all, that love must be buried just beneath the surface and all it's going to take is being nice. You can be the perfect partner and everyone will tell your ex how awesome you are. You're a better partner than all of your ex's friend's significant others, right?
While this sort of plan always works in the movies, life isn't a movie. This plan almost always backfires and it very well might make your ex angry. Your ex might look at your continued contact as harassment and you very well could wind up with a restraining order to deal with for your trouble. Your ex will probably think that you've gone a little crazy, if nothing else, and they will grow even more distant. Save these kinds of romantic gestures for after you have gotten back together. They will be appreciated much more then and help solidify your relationship once your ex is in love with you again.
As you can see, without your ex's desire to continue with the relationship, none of these methods will bring you success. It's only when your ex misses you, realizes that they love you that anything that you might do will make a difference in your relationship. Of course, it is true that there must be some love left in your ex's heart for you. To deny that would be impossible. Trying to convince your ex that they still love you is fruitless also. It has to be your ex's choice to come to that conclusion on their own.
Given some time, space and understanding, your ex will realize that they do still love you. Don't worry. Relationships and matters of the heart are strange. Your ex very well might appear to feel nothing for you one day and then be overwhelmed with passion for you the next day. Trust that this day will come. Understand your ex's point of view and love them from afar for the moment. Your day is coming. You can and will get your ex back if you are patient and understand what your ex is going through at the moment.
Once you're done reading over these common solutions to the problem of how to get back together with your ex, understand that your thoughts are very typical. Coming to the same conclusion as the rest of us is completely normal. In spite of this, also understand that rebuilding your relationship with the one you love isn't out of the question. This emotionally charged state that you are in is very normal and it is something that you must go through in order to heal and become whole again. It is one step in the pathway to rebuilding your life and getting to the place where you need to be when that chance to rekindle the love in your relationship comes to you. You will get that chance but first you must go through this emotional hell.
Now, logic might tell you that the best way to convince someone that your point of view is correct would be to discuss the topic. This might lead you to believe that talking with your ex would be the perfect way to win them back. Simply give them a convincing argument for why you should get back together and they will surely see your sincerity and that life would be better if the two of you reunited. This is also what couples therapy is all about. If it's good enough for other couples then why wouldn't it work for you? Conflict resolution is the topic and you are prepared to resolve the problems in your relationship. This should help you to get back together for sure.
The only problem with this plan is that your ex has no desire to talk things through. The problems in the relationship were solved when your ex left you. As far as your ex is concerned there is nothing to discuss or talk about anymore. This might make you a little sad but it points out one very important point. Your ex needs to want to be in the relationship again before anything is going to happen. Making your ex fall in love with you and desire you needs to be your first step in getting back together with your ex.
Promising to change is often the next plan that many of us come up with when hoping to get our ex back. We feel that if we either promise to change or begin to make changes in our life that our ex will have no reason to end the relationship. You might think that if you write down a list of all the reasons why your ex said that they were leaving and then make all the necessary changes that everything will be good again.
The real reason why your ex left probably has nothing to do with the reasons that they gave you. Your bad habits or areas in your life where you may be found lacking are simply an excuse. Their complaints about you are simply a smoke screen that hides the true reason which is probably a lack of respect or a shift in the power dynamic in your relationship. Offering to change only further shifts the power and makes you appear weak and needy. Any changes that you make or offer to make will also be tainted with what your ex perceives as a desire to do anything to get them back. This will boost your ex's ego and lower your value as a romantic partner and you will be rejected again.
Next, you might be thinking that if you were just good enough and kind enough to your ex that they will fall in love with you again. Maybe you have thought of courting your ex again. You would buy them gifts, write your ex poetry and do crazy romantic things to win your ex's heart. After all, that love must be buried just beneath the surface and all it's going to take is being nice. You can be the perfect partner and everyone will tell your ex how awesome you are. You're a better partner than all of your ex's friend's significant others, right?
While this sort of plan always works in the movies, life isn't a movie. This plan almost always backfires and it very well might make your ex angry. Your ex might look at your continued contact as harassment and you very well could wind up with a restraining order to deal with for your trouble. Your ex will probably think that you've gone a little crazy, if nothing else, and they will grow even more distant. Save these kinds of romantic gestures for after you have gotten back together. They will be appreciated much more then and help solidify your relationship once your ex is in love with you again.
As you can see, without your ex's desire to continue with the relationship, none of these methods will bring you success. It's only when your ex misses you, realizes that they love you that anything that you might do will make a difference in your relationship. Of course, it is true that there must be some love left in your ex's heart for you. To deny that would be impossible. Trying to convince your ex that they still love you is fruitless also. It has to be your ex's choice to come to that conclusion on their own.
Given some time, space and understanding, your ex will realize that they do still love you. Don't worry. Relationships and matters of the heart are strange. Your ex very well might appear to feel nothing for you one day and then be overwhelmed with passion for you the next day. Trust that this day will come. Understand your ex's point of view and love them from afar for the moment. Your day is coming. You can and will get your ex back if you are patient and understand what your ex is going through at the moment.
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Read this Text Your Ex Back review to learn more about ways to get your ex back. Discover how you can get your ex back with simple text messages.